In this finest soliloquy that Shakespeare never wrote, stage veteran Patrick Stewart ponders: "B or not a B, that is the question. Whether 'tis the second letter of the alphabet, or some other merry letter.... This letter doth hath two bumps in the front, and I reckon the word bump beginneth with B. Zounds, the word beginneth beginneth with B, if beginneth be a word. Now, by my sword I declare B or not a B, 'tis B. Good night, sweet B."

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