In the 1994 World Cup finals, Diego Maradona's goal against Greece was unmemorable. More unforgettable, however, were his subsequent celebrations as he leered into a pitchside camera, eyes blazing, froth almost pouring from his mouth. Days later, the tubby 33-year-old idolised by the young Adrian Mutu played against Nigeria and ran like a lithe man 10 years his junior.

Unluckily for him, he was forced to take a dope test. The stimulant ephedrine was discovered, and Maradona was out. The years since have seen him hopelessly addicted and hospitalised for cocaine-induced seizures, although if his shape is a guide, Maradona's cocaine appears to be coated with lard.