Chelsea became suspicious when the Prince Of The Carpathians behaved oddly. "Sometimes he was happy, sometimes not so," said manager Jose Mourinho. "He arrived late a few times and other times didn't come in at all."

More the behaviour of a workshy fop than a cocaine addict, some might say, but Chelsea's suspicions were proved correct, despite his claim that he was taking "something" to improve sexual performance. He lost his £60,000-a-week contract after apparently playing against Aston Villa, in September 2004, with cocaine in his system. Impartial observers might suggest he was, in fact, sold Valium.