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Quotes by Joan Rivers
- I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was 'the man goes on top and the woman underneath.' For three years my husband and I slept in bunk beds.
- I don't excercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put diamonds on the floor.
- I enjoy life when things are happening. I don't care if it's good things or bad things. That means you're alive.
- I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.
- I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
- I think I'm in a business where you have to look good, and it's totally youth-oriented.
- I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.
- If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor.
- Is Elizabeth Taylor fat? Her favorite food is seconds.
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