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Quotes by George Carlin
- Weather forecast for tonight: dark.
- Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?
- What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?
- When Thomas Edison worked late into the night on the electric light, he had to do it by gas lamp or candle. I'm sure it made the work seem that much more urgent.
- When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot's hands.
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