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Quotes by George Carlin
- The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
- The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going.
- The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done.
- There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past.
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