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Quotes by Erma Bombeck
- I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.
- I have a hat. It is graceful and feminine and give me a certain dignity, as if I were attending a state funeral or something. Someday I may get up enough courage to wear it, instead of carrying it.
- I haven't trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their lunch hour. I've never met a woman in my life who would give up lunch for sex.
- I never leaf through a copy of National Geographic without realizing how lucky we are to live in a society where it is traditional to wear clothes.
- I take a very practical view of raising children. I put a sign in each of their rooms: 'Checkout Time is 18 years.'
- I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars.
- If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.
- It goes without saying that you should never have more children than you have car windows.
- It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding.
- It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else.
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