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Quotes by Dave Barry
- The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl.
- The information encoded in your DNA determines your unique biological characteristics, such as sex, eye color, age and Social Security number.
- The Internet is the most important single development in the history of human communication since the invention of call waiting.
- The Internet: transforming society and shaping the future through chat.
- The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates.
- The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion or ethnic background, is that we all believe we are above-average drivers.
- The only kind of seafood I trust is the fish stick, a totally featureless fish that doesn't have eyeballs or fins.
- The problem with winter sports is that - follow me closely here - they generally take place in winter.
- The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious people, and then they come after you with machetes.
- The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads, whereas balding white men look like giant thumbs.
- The world is full of strange phenomena that cannot be explained by the laws of logic or science. Dennis Rodman is only one example.
- To an adolescent, there is nothing in the world more embarrassing than a parent.
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