Is she really your friend?

10:24 03 October 2011

Have you ever felt that your friend is not being as supportive as she should be, bringing you down instead of bringing fun and laughter into your life?

Well, you could have a so-called toxic friend - but they can be hard to spot. We've got five key signs to look out for though, so you can tell if she's more frenemy than than friend-in-me.

1. Bad advice. Are you sure you can trust her judgement? You might get the feeling sometimes that she might want to make you look bad just so she can shine.
2. Second best. Organised something with your best girl friend and are really looking forward to it? If she ditches you at the drop of a hat for a man or a 'better offer', she may be bad news.
3. Selfish. Me, me, me. It's always about her - even if it is about you.
4. Possessive. If you're invited to an event that she isn't, she gets all weird about it.
5. Gossip. Every girl has a good gossip every now and then, but when she does it, it's particularly mean.

If you recognised any of these qualities, then you may have a toxic friend on your hands, but don't worry, there may be a way to claw back your friendship. That's if you want to.

Next time she tries any of the above, pull her up on it. Dumps you again for a man? Mention it. She might not realise she was doing it - or worse, might now realise you've noticed. Just make sure she knows you're not at her beck and call.

If she starts laying into one of your other friends, stick up for them. Sometimes people don't know how nasty they sound and she might rethink her attitude.

If all else fails, you may have to just cut your ties - it's not worth being around someone who doesn't accept and support you as a friend.