Famous Quotes

Quotes by Josh Billings

• A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself.
• A good way I know to find happiness, is to not bore a hole to fit the plug.
• About the most originality that any writer can hope to achieve honestly is to steal with good judgment.
• As a general thing, when a woman wears the pants in a family, she has a good right to them.
• As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of the demand.
• Every man has his follies - and often they are the most interesting thing he has got.
• Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt, not swallowed.
• Genius ain't anything more than elegant common sense.
• Honesty is the rarest wealth anyone can possess, and yet all the honesty in the world ain't lawful tender for a loaf of bread.
• I haven't got as much money as some folks, but I've got as much impudence as any of them, and that's the next thing to money.
• I think when the full horror of being fifty hits you, you should stay home and have a good cry.
• If there was no faith there would be no living in this world. We could not even eat hash with any safety.
• If you ever find happiness by hunting for it, you will find it, as the old woman did her lost spectacles, safe on her own nose all the time.
• It ain't often that a man's reputation outlasts his money.
• It is not all bad, this getting old, ripening. After the fruit has got its growth it should juice up and mellow. God forbid I should live long enough to ferment and rot and fall to the ground in a squash.
• Knowledge is like money: the more he gets, the more he craves.
• Laughter is the sensation of feeling good all over and showing it principally in one place.
• Learning sleeps and snores in libraries, but wisdom is everywhere, wide awake, on tiptoe.
• Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well.
• Love looks through a telescope envy, through a microscope.
• Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can't help but smile on it.
• Men mourn for what they have lost women for what they ain't got.
• Money will buy a pretty good dog, but it won't buy the wag of his tail.
• Most people repent their sins by thanking God they ain't so wicked as their neighbors.
• One of the best temporary cures for pride and affectation is seasickness a man who wants to vomit never puts on airs.
• One of the rarest things that a man ever does, is to do the best he can.
• The best medicine I know for rheumatism is to thank the Lord that it ain't gout.
• The best time for you to hold your tongue is the time you feel you must say something or bust.
• The best way to convince a fool that he is wrong is to let him have his own way.
• The man whose only pleasure in life is making money, weighs less on the moral scale than an angleworm.
• The thinner the ice, the more anxious is everyone to see whether it will bear.
• The wheel that squeaks the loudest is the one that gets the grease.
• There are lots of people who mistake their imagination for their memory.
• There are some people so addicted to exaggeration that they can't tell the truth without lying.
• There are two kinds of fools: those who can't change their opinions and those who won't.
• There is no greater evidence of superior intelligence than to be surprised at nothing.
• There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness.
• There is nothing so easy to learn as experience and nothing so hard to apply.
• There's a great power in words, if you don't hitch too many of them together.
• There's a lot of people in this world who spend so much time watching their health that they haven't the time to enjoy it.