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Quotes by Henny Youngman
- I know a man who doesn't pay to have his trash taken out. How does he get rid of his trash? He gift wraps it, and puts in into an unlocked car.
- I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays.
- I played a great horse yesterday! It took seven horses to beat him.
- I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me.
- I've got all the money I'll ever need, if I die by four o'clock.
- If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving.
- If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late.
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