Famous Quotes

Quotes by Doug Larson

• A pun is the lowest form of humor, unless you thought of it yourself.
• A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your success!
• A weed is a plant that has mastered every survival skill except for learning how to grow in rows.
• Few things are more satisfying than seeing your children have teenagers of their own.
• For disappearing acts, it's hard to beat what happens to the eight hours supposedly left after eight of sleep and eight of work.
• Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog.
• If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would probably be Labor Day Weekend.
• Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.
• More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse.
• Spring is when you feel like whistling even with a shoe full of slush.
• The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball.
• The cat could very well be man's best friend but would never stoop to admitting it.
• The trouble with learning from experience is that you never graduate.
• The world is full of people looking for spectacular happiness while they snub contentment.
• Wisdom is the quality that keeps you from getting into situations where you need it.
• Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you'd have preferred to talk.