Breaking up is hard to do

But not with our fail-safe guide to break-up etiquette...

14:32 11 November 2010

We all know that break ups are hard and most of the time they are quite necessary, but how do we do the dumping tactfully and let them down gently?

Check out our failsafe rules for break-up etiquette that will ensure you never have to utter the dreaded phrase “‘it’s not you, it’s me” again.

Are you sure?
Make up your mind. Make sure you 100 per cent want to do this and that you know there’s no going back. So many women break up with partners, go and celebrate their ‘new found freedom’, only to be back together with said partner days later.

If you do plan to live out this particular scenario, just leave your friends and family out of it or you’ll end up being ‘that couple’ who break up and get back together on a weekly basis. Annoying.

Have a heart
DonÂ’t just ignore the guy and hope heÂ’ll get the message. Let him know by speaking to him face to face; or at least ring him. Texting is a no-no too, just pluck up the courage to tell him yourself- you owe him that.

Clarity is key
Be clear. Don’t use phrases like “I need some space” when you are ending a relationship. That’s fine when you actually want some space but not when you want to break up with someone. Don’t make the mistake of thinking that you’re letting them down gently - this will actually give them hope that there’s a chance you might get back together. Be blunt and to the point, which will be kinder in the long run.

DonÂ’t be a cow
Take responsibility. DonÂ’t try to force him to break up with you by being bitchy and unreasonable. Women who are unhappy in their relationships sometimes start inventing jealousies and complaints to try and push their boyfriends away. This is the cowardÂ’s way out and creates bad feelings between you both.

Where? What? When? How?
Think very carefully about staging your break up. Consider location; is a public place wise? If thereÂ’s a chance he may cry, scream or shout, you probably want to avoid a busy restaurant. It will just make things worse and will be embarrassing for both of you.

Also try not to look too amazing. HeÂ’ll feel bad enough already without you rubbing your amazing-ness in his face.

DonÂ’t cry for me...
...no, actually try and shed a few. Try your best to muster up a few tears if you can as youÂ’re telling him the bad news. His ego needs all the help it can get.