Top 10 Christmas Cracker Jokes 2012

We all love to pull Christmas crackers! And some of us, even though we will never admit it, enjoy Christmas cracker jokes.

14:13 16 December 2012

There are many people out there who buy Christmas crackers with the jokes in mind rather than focusing on the cost!

 

10.  Man: I never found out what happened when that person bought the paper shop?

 

Woman: I heard it got blown away.

 

9. A man walked into a pub.

 

Ouch.

 

8. How does a snowman get about?

 

He rides an icicle.

 

7. Why did the chicken lay an egg?

 

Because that's what they do.

 

6. Employer: Because I kissed you at the Christmas party, who said you could turn up to work whenever you wanted?

 

Employee: Your wife.

 

5. There’s an Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman who each buy a pint of beer in a pub. Unfortunately, one fly lands in each of the three drinks.

Englishman: I’m not drinking that! I’m buying another.

Scotsman: I’ll take it out and drink it, I’m not bothered.

Both the Englishman and the Scotsman look at the Irishman as he puts his hand into his pint glass and picks up the fly.

 

Irishman: Spit out my beer!

 

4. What do you call a man with a seagull on his head?

 

Cliff

 

3. When is the only time Christmas comes before Thanksgiving?

 

When you look it up in the dictionary.

 

2. A man won bronze in the world tanning competition.

 

1. The letter ‘I’ borrowed money off the letter ‘U’. What did ‘I’ say to ‘U’ about the debt?

 

I O U