- Change theme
The top 20 family arguments revealed
What are the causes of family disputes and how can you stop arguing with your parents, brothers, sisters, sons and daughters at home? Tips and advice:
09:08 17 November 2009
You can't choose your family, and perhaps that why we spend so much time falling out with them.
New research has found that the average British family spend on average four days arguing every year.
The survey of 3,000 families by family database www.uinvue.com revealed that mum, dad and the kids have at least three disagreements a day, each lasting up to five minutes.
That totals a staggering 1,095 arguments over the course of one year, lasting for 91.25 hours or 3 days and 19 hours.
Household chores get most people's blood boiling, making it the most common reason to disagree, quickly followed by kids treating the house "like a hotel" and family members taking each other for granted rounding out the podium positions in the top 10 list.
But on the whole, the families agree that it is normally mum who starts the arguments, and exercises her lungs most shouting the loudest during a fight. Mum is also the one most likely to sulk when the arguments have finished.
Doors in the house are most likely to bear the brunt of a daughter's rage, slamming them to make her point, while dad is the one who typically goes for a drive to cool off when everything has settled down.
A fifth regularly argue about being unable to find something in the house, and the same number row about what to watch on TV – with mum typically opting for soap operas, dad wanting sport or documentaries and the kids wanting to watch movies or reality shows.
Deciding whose turn it is to wash up causes 15% of fights, and a further 14% squabble over who can use the family computer.
The telephone bill is the causes of many a heated debate once a month for 13% of families – as the parents find out how many phone calls their children have been making to their mates.
Teenagers filling the house with loud music and arguments over homework also came in the top 10 reasons for family arguments.
Mark De Netto, spokesman for Uinvue said: "The findings reflect common themes when it comes to arguments within the family which have remained unchanged over the past few decades, with the majority of arguments lasting a few minutes only.
"Although arguments are a common factor in all families our results show that they play a vital role in building and strengthening bonds within the family and act as a release valve for family members, so minor arguments do play a positive role in family life.
"It was interesting to note that mum still seems to play the pivotal role within the family however the results do show that dads are getting far more involved in family issues than the generations previously.
Other arguments appearing in the top 20 list included parents being treated like the Bank of England as their kids constantly ask for money, and people spending too long in the bathroom.
Kids' bedtimes, unloading the dishwasher and decisions about meal times all causes disputes between the whole family.
Interestingly, one in 10 families polled claimed they were not currently speaking following a recent argument.
A further 85% of people agree it is best to get everything out in the open so that all family members know exactly how everyone is feeling.However, two thirds of respondents believe family arguments are healthy and should be expected when living in such close proximity to the people you know the best.
Top 20 family arguments
- Household chores
- Treating the house like a hotel
- Taking each other for granted
- Being unable to find something in the house
- What to watch on TV
- Whose turn it is to wash up
- Whose turn it is to go on the computer
- The cost of the telephone bill
- Loud music
- Homework
- Constantly being asked for money
- Bad driving
- Where the remote control is
- What to have for tea
- Putting an empty juice / milk carton back in the fridge
- What time the children should go to bed
- Never ending sport on TV
- People spending too long in the bathroom
- What time teenagers should be back home
- Who should empty the dishwasher