Is your partner spending too much time in the pub? Five signs they may be

Often people can find the balance of pub going difficult, especially if they are growing a dependence with alcohol.

23:27 30 September 2024

The pub is a British tradition. It’s where much of life takes place, from celebrations to mourning, catching up with old friends to making new ones. It is, on the whole, a fabulous place.

Of course, it isn’t without its flaws either though, well, largely people find their flaws within them and with alcohol abuse on the rise, that’s more prominent than ever before, despite more pubs struggling than ever too. 

Often people can find the balance of pub going difficult, especially if they are growing a dependence with alcohol. It can be seriously damaging to relationships, not to mention a person’s health and if a partner is spending too much time in the pub then it can be a difficult situation to navigate.

So, how do you know if your partner is spending too much time in the pub?

They Prioritise Pub Visits Over Other Commitments

Naturally, one of the clearest signs that a loved one is spending too much time in the pub, is if they’re prioritising trips to it over other important aspects of their life. It may be that they’re cancelling or rescheduling plans, skipping family events, or ditching spending time with you relaxing to go and sit in the pub.

If your partner isn’t fulfilling commitments as a result of going to the pub, then it may suggest that they are prioritising their social life there over their relationship with you and other obligations they have.

Their Financial Habits Are Changing

Going to the pub is not cheap. The price of a pint today is £4.80 on average and it can exceed that very easily indeed in most parts of the country. Those costs can quickly add up and that can have a huge impact on relationships. 

If you notice they are spending more than usual or cutting back on expenses elsewhere for their pub habits, then it could well be a cause for concern. What’s more, you may find them becoming more secretive about their spending and financial situation, while financial strain may appear which can cause strain in relationships and often lead to arguments as well as having an impact on savings goals and shared expenses.

Their Health and Well-being Are Suffering

Ultimately, the effect of alcohol can have a huge impact on a person’s wellbeing. The likes of weight gain, fatigue, poor sleep and a weakened immune system are all noticeable changes, while the damage done to the heart and liver can also be significant.

You may also notice they are becoming more irritable and experience mood swings. If this is occurring, it may not just be they’re spending too much time in the pub, but they may also have a problem with addiction and will need addiction treatment to get their life back on track. In which case, you may want to reach out to them and try to get them help.

They Are Less Engaged at Home

You’ll find that thinking about pub becomes the big thing in their life. If they aren’t at the pub, then they will be thinking about when they are next going. This can make them less engaged in home life, becoming emotionally distant when at home.

This can see them cut off from the rest of the family, and you can feel isolated within the relationship, with a lack of support, affection and, essentially, no longer feeling like the team you once were.

They Become Defensive When Confronted

If you’ve raised concerns about your partner’s pub habits and they respond defensively or dismissively, it’s a sign that they may be aware there’s an issue but are not ready to address it. Defensive behaviour can include making excuses for their frequent pub visits, downplaying how much time they spend there, or turning the conversation around to criticise you instead. This type of reaction can make it difficult to have an open and honest discussion about your concerns and may indicate that your partner is in denial about the impact their pub habits are having on your relationship and their own well-being.