Famous Quotes

Quotes by Will Rogers

• A fool and his money are soon elected.
• A man only learns in two ways, one by reading, and the other by association with smarter people.
• A remark generally hurts in proportion to its truth.
• Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don't have for something they don't need.
• America is becoming so educated that ignorance will be a novelty. I will belong to the select few.
• An economist's guess is liable to be as good as anybody else's.
• Ancient Rome declined because it had a Senate, now what's going to happen to us with both a House and a Senate?
• Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
• Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock.
• Diplomats are just as essential to starting a war as soldiers are for finishing it... You take diplomacy out of war, and the thing would fall flat in a week.
• Do the best you can, and don't take life too serious.
• Don't gamble take all your savings and buy some good stock and hold it till it goes up, then sell it. If it don't go up, don't buy it.
• Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else.
• Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
• Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.
• I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat.
• I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
• I guess there is nothing that will get your mind off everything like golf. I have never been depressed enough to take up the game, but they say you get so sore at yourself you forget to hate your enemies.
• I have a scheme for stopping war. It's this - no nation is allowed to enter a war till they have paid for the last one.
• I never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the places they now do.
• I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago.
• If advertisers spent the same amount of money on improving their products as they do on advertising then they wouldn't have to advertise them.
• If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one session of congress.
• If you can build a business up big enough, it's respectable.
• If you ever injected truth into politics you have no politics.
• If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep.
• If you want to be successful, it's just this simple. Know what you are doing. Love what you are doing. And believe in what you are doing.
• In Hollywood you can see things at night that are fast enough to be in the Olympics in the day time.
• Instead of giving money to found colleges to promote learning, why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as good as the Prohibition one did, why, in five years we would have the smartest race of people on earth.
• It's a good thing we don't get all the government we pay for.
• It's easy being a humorist when you've got the whole government working for you.
• It's not what you pay a man, but what he costs you that counts.
• Let advertisers spend the same amount of money improving their product that they do on advertising and they wouldn't have to advertise it.
• Liberty doesn't work as well in practice as it does in speeches.
• Make crime pay. Become a lawyer.