Famous Quotes

"For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out."

Steven Wright on Birthday

More quotes about Birthday

• "God gave us the gift of life it is up to us to give ourselves the gift of living well."

  Voltaire on Birthday

• "The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate."

  Oprah Winfrey on Birthday

• "My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me."

  Jim Valvano on Birthday

• "I think, at a child's birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift should be curiosity."

  Eleanor Roosevelt on Birthday

• "The greatest gift that you can give to others is the gift of unconditional love and acceptance."

  Brian Tracy on Birthday

More quotes by Steven Wright

• "How young can you die of old age?"

• "I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'"

• "I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone."

• "I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving."

• "I had to stop driving my car for a while... the tires got dizzy."