Famous Quotes

"I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her."

Rodney Dangerfield on Funny

More quotes about Funny

• "A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man."

  Lana Turner on Funny

• "I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party."

  Ron White on Funny

• "A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice."

  Bill Cosby on Funny

• "Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes."

  Jim Carrey on Funny

• "Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive."

  Elbert Hubbard on Funny

More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield

• "I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put over my kitchen table."

• "With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me."

• "With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me."

• "My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to drive."

• "I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it."