Famous Quotes

"The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron."

Phyllis Diller on Funny

More quotes about Funny

• "A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man."

  Lana Turner on Funny

• "I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party."

  Ron White on Funny

• "A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice."

  Bill Cosby on Funny

• "Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes."

  Jim Carrey on Funny

• "Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive."

  Elbert Hubbard on Funny

More quotes by Phyllis Diller

• "Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight."

• "Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves."

• "Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight."

• "My recipe for dealing with anger and frustration: set the kitchen timer for twenty minutes, cry, rant, and rave, and at the sound of the bell, simmer down and go about business as usual."

• "Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight."