Famous Quotes

"My Mom said she learned how to swim when someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. I said, 'Mom, they weren't trying to teach you how to swim.'"

Paula Poundstone on Mom

More quotes about Mom

• "My mother was the most beautiful woman I ever saw. All I am I owe to my mother. I attribute all my success in life to the moral, intellectual and physical education I received from her."

  George Washington on Mom

• "The natural state of motherhood is unselfishness. When you become a mother, you are no longer the center of your own universe. You relinquish that position to your children."

  Jessica Lange on Mom

• "My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it."

  Mark Twain on Mom

• "Men are what their mothers made them."

  Ralph Waldo Emerson on Mom

• "My mother said to me, 'If you are a soldier, you will become a general. If you are a monk, you will become the Pope.' Instead, I was a painter, and became Picasso."

  Pablo Picasso on Mom

More quotes by Paula Poundstone

• "The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling."

• "I don't have a bank account because I don't know my mother's maiden name."

• "I'm thankful for the three ounce Ziploc bag, so that I have somewhere to put my savings."

• "I have a very silly sense of humor. I've never laughed harder in my entire life than seeing someone with toilet paper stuck on the bottom of their shoe."

• "I used to watch 'The Waltons' and sob because my family was nothing like that. We had a cruel sense of humor in my family."