Famous Quotes

"I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake."

Mitch Hedberg on Birthday

More quotes about Birthday

• "God gave us the gift of life it is up to us to give ourselves the gift of living well."

  Voltaire on Birthday

• "The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate."

  Oprah Winfrey on Birthday

• "My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me."

  Jim Valvano on Birthday

• "I think, at a child's birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift should be curiosity."

  Eleanor Roosevelt on Birthday

• "The greatest gift that you can give to others is the gift of unconditional love and acceptance."

  Brian Tracy on Birthday

More quotes by Mitch Hedberg

• "Why is Cloud 9 so amazing? What is wrong with Cloud 8? That joke came off the top of my head, and the top of my head ain't funny!"

• "I was at this casino minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, 'You're gonna have to move, you're blocking a fire exit.' As though if there was a fire, I wasn't gonna run. If you're flammible and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit."

• "I know a lot about cars, man. I can look at any car's headlights and tell you exactly which way it's coming."

• "Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus, or just a really cool Opotamus?"

• "I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that."