Famous Quotes

"I know a lot about cars, man. I can look at any car's headlights and tell you exactly which way it's coming."

Mitch Hedberg on Car

More quotes about Car

• "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 MPG."

  Bill Gates on Car

• "There was a time in my life when I thought I had everything - millions of dollars, mansions, cars, nice clothes, beautiful women, and every other materialistic thing you can imagine. Now I struggle for peace."

  Richard Pryor on Car

• "Car designers are just going to have to come up with an automobile that outlasts the payments."

  Erma Bombeck on Car

• "I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone."

  Steven Wright on Car

• "I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving."

  Steven Wright on Car

More quotes by Mitch Hedberg

• "Why is Cloud 9 so amazing? What is wrong with Cloud 8? That joke came off the top of my head, and the top of my head ain't funny!"

• "I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake."

• "I was at this casino minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, 'You're gonna have to move, you're blocking a fire exit.' As though if there was a fire, I wasn't gonna run. If you're flammible and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit."

• "Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus, or just a really cool Opotamus?"

• "I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that."