Famous Quotes

"A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it."

Jerry Seinfeld on Funny

More quotes about Funny

• "A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man."

  Lana Turner on Funny

• "I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party."

  Ron White on Funny

• "A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice."

  Bill Cosby on Funny

• "Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes."

  Jim Carrey on Funny

• "Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive."

  Elbert Hubbard on Funny

More quotes by Jerry Seinfeld

• "It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper."

• "Well, all comedy starts with anger. You get angry, and its never for a good reason, right? You know its not a good reason. And then you try and work it from there."

• "You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.'"

• "When I jumped off a roof in Cannes in a bee costume, I looked ridiculous. But this is my business I have to humiliate myself."

• "The first real thought that I had of something that I might do was to write for car magazines, because I always had a car thing."