Famous Quotes

"Here in Hollywood you can actually get a marriage license printed on an Etch-A-Sketch."

Dennis Miller on Funny

More quotes about Funny

• "A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man."

  Lana Turner on Funny

• "I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party."

  Ron White on Funny

• "A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice."

  Bill Cosby on Funny

• "Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes."

  Jim Carrey on Funny

• "Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive."

  Elbert Hubbard on Funny

More quotes by Dennis Miller

• "What's so touching is the way we fight the war right until the moment our business is taken care of and then we turn on a dime and we immediately start taking care of people. It's like a shock and aw shucks campaign."

• "I didn't know my Dad - he moved out early. And my mom's politics were kind of hardscrabble. She didn't think about Democrats or Republicans. She thought about who made sense. I've been both in my life."

• "The death penalty is becoming a way of life in this country."

• "You know there is a problem with the education system when you realize that out of the 3 R's only one begins with an R."

• "The American education system couldn't be more badly directed or poorly funded if the Secretary of Education were Ed Wood."