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Famous Quotes
Quotes by Erma Bombeck
- Onion rings in the car cushions do not improve with time.
- Sometimes I can't figure designers out. It's as if they flunked human anatomy.
- Thanks to my mother, not a single cardboard box has found its way back into society. We receive gifts in boxes from stores that went out of business twenty years ago.
- Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.
- There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.
- There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.
- What's with you men? Would hair stop growing on your chest if you asked directions somewhere?
- When humor goes, there goes civilization.
- When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me'.
- Who in their infinite wisdom decreed that Little League uniforms be white? Certainly not a mother.
- Youngsters of the age of two and three are endowed with extraordinary strength. They can lift a dog twice their own weight and dump him into the bathtub.
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