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Famous Quotes
- I've dated some women who have turned me on to some funny things that are strange for men to actually do, but these things have become part of my process. I think the things I do for my appearance help make me look better. I even colour my hair because I like how it makes me look.
- Ryan Seacrest on Funny
- I've got to get on myself to be sharp, funny and loose.
- David Spade on Funny
- I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something's wrong with me.
- Elayne Boosler on Funny
- I've never really understood that. It's a funny thing people sometimes accuse us of condescending to our characters somehow-that to me is kind of inexplicable.
- I've started looking at my own father a bit funny. He assures me, though, that I really am the son of a Scottish postman.
- Craig Ferguson on Funny
- I've thought for the last decade or so, the only actual place raw truth was seeping through in newspapers was on the Comics Pages. They were able to pull off intelligent social comment, pure truths not found elsewhere in the news pages, and had the ability to make it all funny, entertaining, and pertinent.
- Elayne Boosler on Funny
- If at first you don't succeed, blame your parents.
- Marcelene Cox on Funny
- If at first you don't succeed, find out if the loser gets anything.
- William Lyon Phelps on Funny
- If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving.
- Henny Youngman on Funny
- If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor.
- Joan Rivers on Funny
- If God wanted us to fly, He would have given us tickets.
- Mel Brooks on Funny
- If I had to live my life again, I'd make the same mistakes, only sooner.
- Tallulah Bankhead on Funny
- If I have to lay an egg for my country, I'll do it.
- If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one session of congress.
- Will Rogers on Funny
- If I want to knock a story off the front page, I just change my hairstyle.
- Hillary Clinton on Funny
- If I'm in something funny, I like to try and find some kind of serious line in it that people can relate to.
- Ron Livingston on Funny
- If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners.
- Johnny Carson on Funny
- If it's inappropriate to write about, if there's nothing funny about it, then it's not funny.
- Calvin Trillin on Funny
- If it's the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number?
- Robin Williams on Funny
- If Joy Behar or Sherri Shepherd was a dude, they'd be off TV. They're not funny enough for dudes. What if Roseanne Barr was a dude? Think we'd know who she was?
- Adam Carolla on Funny
- If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?
- Lily Tomlin on Funny
- If man knew how women pass the time when they are alone, they'd never marry.
- If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job.
- Woody Allen on Funny
- If people want to compete for leadership of a religious group, they can compete in piety. A chilling thought. Or funny.
- Mary Douglas on Funny
- If the facts don't fit the theory, change the facts.
- Albert Einstein on Funny
- If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?
- Lily Tomlin on Funny
- If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.
- Laurence J. Peter on Funny
- If you are a great dramatic actor then you often don't know if people are enjoying your stuff at all because they are sitting there in silence. But with comedy it's a simple premise. If it's funny, people laugh. If it's not, they don't.
- Steve Coogan on Funny
- If you can find the line between sympathetic and creepy, you have reached a very funny area.
- Jason Segel on Funny
- If you can't tell a spoon from a ladle, then you're fat!
- Demetri Martin on Funny
- If you could cross a lion and a monkey, that's what I'd be, because monkeys are funny and lions are strong.
- Marlon Wayans on Funny
- If you have a secret, people will sit a little bit closer.
- Rob Corddry on Funny
- If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that age.
- George Burns on Funny
- If you look at the game and everything, it's not quite like looking at an animated film, because that's total character. This, this is really movement, but it's got funny little things if you look for the humor. They're actually getting to the character.
- If you play it straight it's funny - the best comedy is always played straight down the middle. The adjustment is understanding from the screenplay that a moment is hilarious.
- Tom Hiddleston on Funny
- If you take a bunch of superstars and put them in a room where they don't have their assistants and entourage, it's funny to see what happens.
- Daryl Hall on Funny
- If you tell the truth about how you're feeling, it becomes funny.
- Larry David on Funny
- If you think something's funny, go with that. Most comedians pull jokes from a place of honesty.
- Olivia Munn on Funny
- If you use tact you can say anything, then make it funny.
- If you want to be thought a liar, always tell the truth.
- Logan P. Smith on Funny
- If you work at comedy too laboriously, you can kill what's funny in the joke.
- Richard Russo on Funny
- If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late.
- Henny Youngman on Funny
- If you're going to tell people the truth, be funny or they'll kill you.
- Billy Wilder on Funny
- In a funny way, poems are suited to modern life. They're short, they're intense. Nobody has time to read a 700-page book. People read magazines, and a poem takes less time than an article.
- Caroline Kennedy on Funny
- In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.
- George Carlin on Funny
- In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.
- Rita Rudner on Funny
- In Italy, I had an Afro, and a lot of the kids came up and felt my hair. It really was funny. I wish I had understood Italian.
- Sugar Ray Leonard on Funny
- In my circle of friends, I've always been loud and funny and talkative. But as soon as I step out of that circle, I get very quiet and introspective. I don't want the spotlight on me.
- Rosie Perez on Funny
- In my experience, it's not just that serious books get a hearing on comedy shows. But serious books get a serious hearing, as well as a funny one, on comedy shows.
- Michael Mandelbaum on Funny
- In terms of the creative side of it, it's really been a thing where you come up with the funny stuff is usually at a bar or out talking to people or whatever.
- Trey Parker on Funny
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